I am a Dad of 2 Boys??? Holy Crap

At one point in my life, I thought I would feel “old” enough to be a father of 2 boys, but with Harrison Russell Tyler just a day old and Jackson now 18 months, I don’t feel anywhere close to be “old” enough to be a Father of 2. Being 31, the ages seems just fine to have 2 kids, good age, good timing. I remember being 18 thinking I don't feel old enough to go to college, and then being 26 and not feeling "old" enough to be married and the same feeling when Jackson arrive. I keep waiting for my brain to catch up with my life. Hey, my Pops always said, you are only as old as you feel. 

            So, here I sit in the hospital with Emily and Harrison, who at this point, is perfect. The reality has yet to set in that we will have another baby at home. Everyone keeps asking if we are ready for baby #2, and the answer was always NO. Jackson was a perfect baby, slept through the night at 6 weeks, never cried, never fussed, was just perfect. And the thought of midnight feedings again has not yet sunk in. But regardless if we WERE ready, we now HAVE to be ready.

            Harrison was due Nov 29^th, so 2 weeks early was not in our plan. And I know what everyone is saying, you can’t control this, God has a plan for everyone, blah blah blah. That still doesn’t make it easier or make us more prepared. Emily woke up Monday morning at 2:30 with left side of her stomach cramps. After a few hours and a few Google scares later, we heading into the hospital at 4:30, still no convinced we were heading into labor. Even checking in, we were telling them that Emily was having stomach pains, and they kept saying contractions. “No No, stomach pains.” We were just in total denial. We did not even bring our bag of stuff for a stay. After a few hours, the nurse came back and said “You guys are going to be celebrating a birthday today.

            We had 2 names going into the birth. Harrison Russell (Russell is her Dad’s name) or Camden John (John is her Dad’s and Brother’s middle name). For those of you who don’t know, we have a famous leaders theme rocking. Jackson is after Andrew Jackson (16^th President) Winston (our dog) is after Winston Churchill, Truman (the cat) is after Harry S. Truman. So, Camden was  bucking this trend, but we liked the name. I am from Lake of the Ozarks, which is located in Camden County. The ultimate decision came down to the little one. If he had dark hair, it would be Harrison and light hair would be Camden. No real logic to it, but it seem to work for us.

            So, there is the back-story: back to me and not being ready for baby #2.  Don’t get me wrong, super pumped to have 2 boys, just not super pumped to go through the first 3-4 months, but all part of the job though. We have NO clue what to expect. I wish we had this grand plan, but we are just winging it and letting it all work out on it’s own.  Our biggest concern right now is how Jackson is going to react to Harrison. He has been perfect for the last 18 months and we are hoping the arrival of Harrison does not throw him into some jealous rage.

            The whole process of having a baby really opens my eyes to the joy of life. You tend to forget how amazing it is, even after 18 months. You look at this little 6 lb baby all wrapped up and the thought that I had a hand in that is mind blowing. I helped create another human life. Hell, as a kid I couldn't keep a hamster alive: now I have 2 boys. 2 amazing boys at that. 

     Emily is amazing, just amazing. I smile when I think about her strength and what she does for this family and what she just went through. Right now, she is asleep holding Harrison. Just amazing sight to see. Mom and Baby.  I bitch when I get a sore throat and she just pumped out a 6 ½ lb kid that she carried for 9 months. All Mom’s for that matter are great and wonderful to go through that process.

            This morning when I got Jackson up and ready, he gave me an extra long hug and it brought a tear to my eye just thinking about how lucky we are. Today, I have a different outlook on life. Yesterday at 2:30, I just wanted to go back to sleep, not have a baby. Today, I woke up with a different purpose, different outlook on life. I looked at Jackson differently, more lovingly. And I know he knew it. I always get a hug in the morning, but this was a different hug, this was a “It’s all going to be okay” hug. “I love you Daddy so much” Hug. Those hugs are worth every sleepless night that I will endure the next few months.

            A huge thank you to the outpouring of love and support. Thanks to those who followed along on Twitter, sent us text, emails and Facebook love. We greatly appreciate it. We have loved the visitors we have gotten and welcome more. Kay, our Nanny, was with Jackson all day Monday. My Mom came over at 4:00am to stay with Jackson until Kay could come over. Elise stayed with Jackson until I got home at 10:30, and then swiftly went to bed. I heard it takes a village to raise a child, so now we have 2, so come on village, let’s get to work! I am just a freaked out Dad who has another baby to care for, and has no clue what to expect.